Joy, Jealousy and Jesus

As you may be able to gauge from the title of this post, it's been an interesting end of week and weekend.

Let's begin with the first of the "J" series, because it's the most excellent (in my opinion)!

JOY

This past Friday was the agency summer party. The boss decided that it would be an excellent idea to take us all out on a boat called the Sally Bum Bum. Don't worry, I giggled too. In spite of the silly name, it might be the best thing that has ever happened, in life, forever. Basically, it's this old, young-at-heart guy that runs the company (the have three or four boats, two are mini-versions), who's name is Captain Leon. He's a little whippersnapper, and made me laugh. Everyone had their bathing suits on (for those of you know know me well, you know that this is my nightmare), and the boat (technically a catamaran) would stop off at the most beautiful of tiny little, barely-populated beaches. Along the way, we saw just the most beautiful scenery.

 

Can we, for a moment, discuss the people who have houses along these beautiful rocks and beaches? Can we also, for a moment, discuss that they have more money than Tyler Perry (richest man in Hollywood, is friends with Oprah, is all you need to know)? I mean, to own a place like the image above, I can't even imagine the money. They must looks out the window, laugh, swish their wine around and say, "Dear, have you received those gold-plated trillion dollar bills in the mail yet? And by "the mail", I of course mean our unicorn with a platinum, self-replenishing horn that shoots pure gold streamers, and flies via my magic "I'm a big smelly jerk" dust?"

As you can see, this is where the jealousy begins. Good segue, let's go with it.

JEALOUSY

So the rich people, sure, jealousy, whatever, I'm over it. That just popped into my head, it wasn't the jealousy that I was thinking about when I wrote the name of the post. The jealousy that I was thinking of was this woman on some water board, standing still, with her paddle, right near our boat during the party. Whatever, yay for her, she has a good "core", abs, and a fancy little water board (for which I am certain there is a proper name), blah, blah.

The best part, which made everyone at the party mad (but funny mad, not legit mad), was that this chick then started doing effing yoga on this board thing. The rage that came out of this one woman at the party, I am still laughing at right now as I type this. This woman, a true Bermudian yelled out, "Get the hell down, who do you think you are, we're not impressed! Woo, you can stretch!" She then turned to us and we all started this loud rampage against the woman, saying (within our group of actually lovely people) that we were going to swim over and push her down (a joke!). This woman was clearly very fit, very good at whatever it was that she was doing, and not a one of us could have come close to it. I'm sure she's a lovely woman, but she was out "showboating" in front of a group of people, us and her own group, and it was just silly. The woman on the board lost her balance and fell in the water, and the woman from my office bursts out laughing, causing is all to burst out laughing.

I... nearly... peed...

The good news, apparently everyone pees in the ocean! I have been taught by four people, on completely different occasions, how to "properly" pee in the ocean. One  woman actually taught me how to "pee like a lady" on the beach, like, in the sand. This woman shall remain nameless, but I think she reads this blog, and if she's reading this, thank you for this invaluable lesson! Not sure I'll us it, but it sure is great "survivor" information!

Did I mention that Bermuda has the best people ever?! Would I have ever been taught four different manoeuvres to pee in or by the ocean in Toronto? No. Brilliant.

JESUS
This is perhaps an odd topic for me to talk about, given I'm not a religious woman. However, Bermuda is a rather religious island, and I have a lot respect for others and their beliefs, as long as they don't try to make them my beliefs.

One woman did come over to me at the grocery store on a Monday night and with a big smile on her face, and said, "He's coming you know. Jesus is on his way, he'll be here to save you very soon."

I, well, don't know if I had done something in her presence while choosing grapefruits that made her think that I needed saving, but, she shared that information with me nonetheless.

I digress. I went to the ferry dock area in Hamilton one night, just to get a breather after a busy day at work. It's on the walk home, I figured a little sit on the bench beside the water would be a great place to have some personal thinky time. Well, I was not the only one, because what looked to be an entire congregation was there, raising money for their church and just having an overall great time!

As I said, not a religious woman, but I stood and watched the singer and dancers for close to an hour. Passion is passion, regardless of what it is about, and I respect that these folks live with such passion in their lives.